*** This piece is an edited, marked piece taken from the unit FICTION WRITING – STORY, STRUCTURE, AND STARTING OUT

“The sentence in its contemporary manifestations in creative writing classes threatens to become a standardised article as student after student tells me that long sentences tire them while short ones grab them” (Brophy, 2003)
I’m going to start from a little further back than trimester 3, 2019. Going back is the best way to move forward, I think. Let me know if it works. I’ve taken some shine to criticism and I wouldn’t be here, enrolled in Writing for Fiction otherwise.
I returned to university study in January, 20 years after the first go to re-skill, replenish, and refill the yawning knowledge gap a decade out of writing had created. It was hardly triumphant, being more an act of desperation when I felt I had run out of other career choices.
In some ways I have been Quoyle before, and am now Quoyle once again (Proulx, 1999). In the early 2000s I stepped weekly from flowery sentences in creative writing classes straight into the din of live sports journalism; baptised in the fire of deadlines, simpler word constructs, football tropes and the intertwined smells of sweat and liniment. All those big words I learnt and loved on Wednesday, were trained on Thursdays to be taken out of me, suppressed and forgotten.
Long sentences never tired me out, even as Brophy’s fears become manifest in the social media age. It was more that making them shorter was simpler and kept my succession of editor managers much happier.
“It’s too long. Way, way, way too long. No quotes. No human interest. Stale.” His pencil roved among Quoyle’s sentences, stirring and shifting. “Short words. Short sentences. Look at this, look at this. Here’s your angle down here. That’s news, move it up.” (Proulx, 1999)
My writing was trained to build useful snappy sentences into useable, understandable, and ultimately sensible tracts. Just the facts, man. This got me to the next task, the next ‘opportunity’, and the next vaguely soulless pay slip. But I felt washed out, my enduring love for sport even dimmed briefly. My writing became exemplary of the difference between craft and art, and in hindsight I yearned to be an artist. Writing with clear purpose, with little to no flair, waste, or excitement was barely an existence, and certainly not a satisfying one. I scribbled away in dogged fashion but left abruptly for a life of adventure and excitement that writing about things and cash wasn’t providing me.
I traveled. I taught. I taught travel. I sold travel. I had an intermittent series of mental breakdowns that ultimately meant serious medicating, and for a time, a minder. I recuperated. I re-surfaced. I handled knives and folded burritos. I met, wooed and married the most wonderful woman. I farmed. I grew kids. I kept farming. I slept soundly.
Then the farm sold.
I shouldn’t have left writing. I should have changed my mindset. I could’ve drunk my fill of excitement and adventure, beer in one hand, keyboard near the other, foreign sounds licking at my ears, hot spices warming my stomach. But that’s life, and regret doesn’t matter now. I’m back. 20 years older, wiser, more experienced but more wondrous too. Still a length of rope on the deck somewhere, but more ready to be cast and not willing to be walked on.
My utilitarian attitude was near disaster returning to study, but clarity promptly took root in the form of mild criticism from a Digital Curation tutor and feedback from classmates during Writing Fundamentals. In critiquing an otherwise well put together and heavily researched essay my tutor felt my “sentences were too short.” I limited expression by not fleshing out sentences, points, or ideas. I was moving too carefully, didn’t seem critical with opinions, and mostly sat on the fence. My classmates responded during workshops that my companion paper to a podcast episode was “boring.” They didn’t care that it was tightly put together, illuminative and backed the more free-flowing audio with references. They cared that from in the 1500 word draft I had not put enough verve into the piece for them to see creativity at all. My tutor called it a “Wikipedia entry.”
Those innocuous, well-meant critiques on my work rattled me. The get in. Write efficiently. Get Out. Leave a well-crafted story behind approach was not only challenged, it had been gloriously blown apart in a few short snippets of late-night feedback.
What would I do? How would I respond?
I could keep using words like a tradie uses her hammer, banging away but not getting anywhere outside of the plan. Or, I could take a few risks and maybe find the intersection between craftsmanship and creativity that rewards work that flashes a bit of swashbuckling.
How serious was I about becoming a professional writer?
I came to this class unit to find out.
“Don’t wait for time to write. I learned to work in whatever slivers of time the day might give me… I had slivers of time, so I wrote in slivers of words: a page here, a paragraph there. Eventually the slivers would add up to something.” (Grenville, 2006)
I hadn’t written many unfettered sentences in years, except when talking rubbish about sports with friends online. Writing gets crammed into areas of life that don’t allow for much time. Get in, do the job, and get out of there before the kids wake up from their nap has been my usual modus operandi, and my smartphone apps run hot with notes equivalent to John Lennon scrawling lyrics on a diner napkin.
Writing with the sole purpose to launch words onto a page like the first arrows shot from a new quiver has created the kind of energy I haven’t felt writing in… 5 years? 10 years? 20? In truth, I can’t remember when I last felt like this.
I strongly relate to Grenville here as well: “The criterion was energy. If I felt energised in writing a fragment or a scene, I’d keep going.” Tasks set from our readings, back and forth with my peers (many whose motivations and skill sets are so different to mine) gives me the energy to approach writing differently, tinker endlessly, and drift expansively into creating words and sentences I would have discarded six weeks ago in lieu of the more straightforward.
This unit offers me encouragement to be splashy; I can get creative with voice, with conversation, dialogue, and experiment using language and structure in ways as startling as Beasts of No Nation: A Novel (Iweala, 2005). I read barely any of Agu’s harrowing tale, just the excerpt from class, but it was a brilliantly rich piece of text. The contrast between Agu and Strika, the former’s coruscating flow of words tumbling brokenly in their hurry to break free from his mouth versus the staunch, silent power of his friend Strika, reminds me almost exactly of my two children, Archie and Rory, half a world and a waking nightmare away. If I can describe my kids on social media half as well as Iweala demonstrates those who are not children, but could and should have been, then I will be happy.
“Most writing is a combination of language-based and referent-based strategies. If you play with language it produces ideas which you can then consider, if you begin with an idea it has to manifest itself in language, so you may find yourself moving backwards and forwards between the two strategies.” (Smith 2005)
I’ve never overtly worked on language-based strategies, or at least not when I’ve sat down to write. Word games, language building, and free writing such as Smith (2005) employs have never been important. My language-based strategies are rare, executed during the revision and editing process; replacing dodgy or repetitive adjectives, small experiments with sound and meaning to create alliteration or provide a bit of sensory colour. Adding an extra flicker to my usual crisp sentences was about as far as I went with word play. Language activities have become more of a focus in recent weeks, and I hope that this reflection is proof of that effort.
Referent activities are a bit different. In class, whether it was the Hokusai image, or the map, mirror, or machine exercise, I’m naturally more inclined to tackle this type of task. Taking an object or emotion and flipping their features, writing to compare or contrast human characteristics, or even just in normal description can fill up my page quickly and with more flamboyance than I usually muster elsewhere.
When pulling information together I usually go hard researching early, and then not do anything for a while. I’ve got a good sense of deadline pressure (and an anxiety disorder), so wasting time per se, doesn’t bother me. To put this squarely in referent strategy, my mind acts as sifter, turning over ideas and concepts until gathering a collection of material to start putting it down on paper.
Interestingly, when I wrote this in December, I hadn’t written a single word for the major assignment that follows this reflection. despite deciding during opening week that the Hokusai image task would form the basis of my story. As my mind sifts through silt in the background, my goal is to keep using the techniques and tasks I’m picking up to naturally provide the story with some pop, flair, and skill. I hope my story does the hard work justice.
References
Brophy, K 2003, Explorations in Creative Writing, Melbourne University Press, Carlton, Vic
Grenville, K 2006, Searching for the Secret River, Text Publishing, Melbourne
Iweala U 2006, Beasts of No Nation: A Novel, Harper Perennial, New York
Proulx, A 1999, The Shipping News, Scribner Classics, New York
Smith, H 2005, The Writing Experiment: strategies for innovative creative writing, Allen & Unwin, Crows Nest














